
I remember though, one of the sayings of our Prophet Muhammad, may God bless him with the highest mercy and peace:This culture of putting ourselves out there is making us unconsciously forget the fact that the idea of modesty isn’t just for hijab-clad women. Physical modesty, emotional modesty, intellectual modesty, verbal modesty, and the modesty of our intentions and actions are part of what it means to be a practicing Muslim. But our glorified modern society and culture is telling us to exchange these levels of modesty for pseudo-fame and temporary status.
Is my self esteem really that easily influenced? Am I really contemplating the trade-off between pleasing my Creator and pleasing my nafs/ego? Has it come to that? Are we compromising our modesty (not just physical modesty) with extreme levels of ease at the hand of our own desire to want to be accepted by other people? Why is that?
Sometimes you have to ask yourself what really matters.
Yes, it’s hard for me to be the only one in my immediate circle of friends that wears the hijab. The frustration of being the only hijabi at my job and internships is a lot to deal with sometimes. It’s just hard being judged from the very onset by people you barely even know just because you wear something on your head. It’s hard to be confident when you know you look better and are perceived as “better” without this cloth, or social barrier. It’s really, really tough.
“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.”
I reminded myself that I would much rather be tested in this world. As hard as it gets on some days to wear the hijab in the morning, I know that I'm wearing it for a higher purpose. Yes it's difficult, and it takes courage and strength, and God knows that. That's why the reward will be unfathomable. I'm not perfect. Wearing the hijab doesn't make me perfect. I sin every single day. I make mistakes and I forget. I'm only human. But the hijab for me, is a way to continuously strive to be better. Perfection isn't an ideal we ought to be striving for before making the decision to wear the hijab. Perfection should never be a prerequisite for any kind of worship. There's no perfect time to wear the hijab. The act itself, the hijab itself, paves the way to attaining that fragment of perfection that is humanly possible for us to attain. The hijab is a reminder that I will keep trying and struggling no matter what. Often times, the frustration you may be feeling with the hijab is just a projection of other problems in your life. We are so quick to use the hijab as a scapegoat when really, other issues stemming from other stimuli are the cause of our emotional dysregulation. Friendship problems, relationship dynamics, family troubles, these are all often projected onto the hijab. Ask yourself though, will taking off the hijab really solve these issues? Who and what are your decisions being influenced by?
No matter where you are in your hijab journey, I hope that I can inspire and encourage you through my experiences inshaAllah. You might be planning on wearing hijab one day down the line. You’re not really sure when and don’t really want to think about it. Maybe you’re a girl who can’t stop thinking about the obligation you need to fulfill with your Creator and need advice on how to start dressing more modestly. Maybe you already wear hijab and are struggling with self-confidence and are in need of motivation to continue on. I have been the girl in all of those scenarios and after three years of wearing hijab alhamdulillah, I can say that I have some good advice to share. I hope you can find hijab a little easier with my tips inshaAllah.Her tips are extensive and really resonated with a lot of women, all over the world. So give it a read and see where asking yourself some tough questions leads you. Another blogger, Alina, posted a piece on Haute Hijab about her hijab story. I think reading what other hijabi women are going through really helps put things into perspective.
